Psychopathia sexualis

Comedy for five characters (3 men, 2 women)

Arthur, an obscure young painter struggling in the art world of Manhattan, announces to his self-satisfied friend, Howard, that he is engaged to be married. To whom? Asks Howard. The answer is to Lucille, a powerful, attractive, no-nonsense Texas socialite, a kind of wealthy Annie Oakley. But, Arthur confides to Howard, there are three problems: 1. Arthur is a fetishist, and Lucille doesn’t know. He cannot make love without being in proximity to his father’s argyle socks. 2. Arthur’s psychiatrist, Dr. Block, unable to cure Arthur of his fetish, has stolen said socks. 3. Arthur’s wedding night is fast approaching, and he needs his socks back. Howard vows to retrieve his friend’s socks from the wily Dr. Block. This brilliant if unconventional shrink proceeds to reduce Howard to a sniveling wreck. We finally meet the robust Lucille, in her wedding dress, as her friend Ellie (Howard’s wife) blurts out all the bad news. At this point, Arthur enters and begs Lucille’s forgiveness, which he obtains. Lucille resolves to go to this Block character and rescue her man’s socks. Lucille and Dr. Block fight it out for the soul and the socks of Arthur. Lucille wipes the floor with the clever psychiatrist. Her secret weapon? A hearty store of common sense and razor-sharp country wit. Block finally resorts to trying to seduce her. When she cries help, Arthur and Howard burst in and save her. Arthur reclaims his socks (as each man must), and he and Lucille are married.